Life is unpredictable

Last post, I was excited about my husband finally getting his aortic valve replaced. Then, it happened, all in an afternoon (the procedure actually took only just under half an hour) and he was up and around. The next day he was out of the Kelowna hospital (about 65 km from Penticton).

Then, a week later, he and I were manning a display table in the local mall, when suddenly, you will never guess what, I had a heart attack. It was not a big deal, really. A friend drove me to the Penticton hospital where I claimed to have a sore left arm. I really expected them to just send me home. Instead, they took a blood sample and declared there was a problem and I would have to stay until they could get me to the Kelowna Hospital for an angiogram. We had just been through all this with my husband. It was surreal that it was happening to me.

So, a week ago I had the angiogram and they found a few little problems that, thankfully, can be treated with just medication--no stents or surgery for me, thank God! When I got home from the hospital on Wednesday, February 12th, the bizarre situation was that Frank, recovering from his TAVI (transcatheter aortic valve implantation) and I (recovering from my angiogram) were neither of us allowed to lift anything over five pounds. Make a pot of coffee--nope!

Fortunately, our kids were amazing. They jumped in and looked after their dad while I was out of commission--that was my biggest worry. I had had no time, of course, to arrange for help for him--help which he needs at the best of times--and needed even more desperately with his post surgery care being untended.

The biggest problem of having to travel between Kelowna and Penticton, is that we do not have a car, but have to rely on others to drive us to and fro. Not long ago, we could use Greyhound buses, but they abandoned Western Canada a couple of years ago. BC Tansit has not really taken up the slack. It has improved from just Mondays to daily--but that is four buses on Mondays and only two (early morning and late evening) the rest of the week. There are flights, but they cost almost the same as trips to Vancouver or Calgary. Ridiculous! So when Frank needed to go, we had to ask one of our two sons, our daughter, or one of our two local grandchildren. All of whom have jobs and cannot just jump and take a few hours to drive us. Then, we had to have hotel rooms because some of the medical appointments at the Kelowna Hospital are early in the morning with a follow-up later or the next day. The last trip for Frank cost us almost $1000. Not paying our son for the transportation. For me, it was much easier and cost us nothing. Hospital to hospital by ambulance is free for the patient. I went to the Kelowna hospital early Tuesday morning, had the angiogram, and was back in my Penticton hospital room around lunchtime the same day. Easy-peezy! Home the next day. No hotels!

A word about the hotels: Last June, we took the advice of a handout from the hospital and chose a hotel from their list: Royal Anne Hotel. I confess I did not really examine the amenities carefully, but chose it for sentimental reasons: My parents met there! Not a good choice for traveling with a disabled person though. I do not recommend it.

This time, I thought I was doing better. I selected one from the Internet where it was claimed that it was wheelchair accessible. And although my husband is not in a wheelchair, he does use a walker. Again, I should have been more diligent and asked direct questions. It turned out that if you wanted the room to be wheelchair accessible, you had to ask at the desk for a ramp. I lifted the walker in and out of the room. The bathroom was definitely NOT safe--no grab bars, for starters. We had to go to that hotel twice--once for the pre-surgical screening visit then a week later for the TAVI. The second time, we came prepared, having bought a transfer bench for the bathtub so we could get in and out of the shower without falling. (The one we bought is a lot like the one in the link, but not identical. Ours cost $160, and had a grab-handle on the side.) I am not disabled, just old. And climbing over the side of a tub is quite challenging. So, for handicapped and elderly people, I do not recommend Siesta Suites.

Yup! Life is definitely unpredictable. I hope I never have to stay in a hotel in Kelowna ever again. And as for hospitals....well, I guess that is obvious.

June already? and mostly gone!

Whatever happened to May? Posting once a month is pretty bad as it is, but missing a whole month is almost unforgivable. 

It was a busy month, of course. Seems like we did nothing but visit doctors, and that has continued through June, too.

My husband, Frank, was told several years ago that the day would come when he would need his aortic valve replaced. It appears that that day is almost upon us. So, many of those doctor visits were related to that upcoming event. 

A week ago Friday, we had to spend a couple of nights in a hotel in Kelowna because he needed to be at Kelowna General Hospital at 7am for an angiogram and was not allowed to go home until the day after the procedure. Tomorrow we have to go back to Kelowna (a city about an hour drive from Penticton, where we live) for a consult and more tests. Last time, we got my daughter-in-law to drive us to Kelowna and help us get settled in the Royal Anne Hotel, my son Dave came and helped us get from the hospital back to the hotel after the angiogram, and my daughter and son-in-law drove to Kelowna to bring us home. Tomorrow, my granddaughter will drive us to the Kelowna hospital from our Penticton home, and later in the day Dave will pick us up at the hospital and drive us back to Penticton.
As you can see, there has been a lot of focus on Frank's health. My health has also been an issue. I've been diagnosed with Caregiver Burn-out Depression. It's not clinical, so I'm not on medication. I do have Group Therapy sessions every two weeks, and can have one-on-one if I ask for it. So far, I've had only one of the individual sessions. I find the group very helpful, if only to prove to myself that my situation could be a lot worse. My husband's health is physical. Those caring for loved-ones with dementia have a much worse time. 

One more thing has happened that is good for both my husband and for me: He is now attending Adult Day Care once a week, which gives me Saturdays free! And he gets to visit with other people and participate in games, etc., instead of spending all day watching TV. (The Saturday program is for those who qualify for the day care, but do not have dementia.) It costs only $10 a day, and includes a very healthy lunch which would itself cost a lot more than $10 in a restaurant. A bus picks him up about 9:30 am and brings him back about 3 pm. Best of all, he enjoys it. Next Saturday, caregivers and spouses are invited to join the group (about 9 or 10 of them) to go to Agur Lake for a picnic. That will be $3 each extra. I think we can afford the $6. Especially since I don't have to prepare a picnic lunch--that will be provided, along with the transportation.